Can you tell when someone is lying to you? If not, would you like to learn? I would. And that’s why I continue to read what Vanessa Van Edwards writes about with great interest.
Van Edwards is a behavioral investigator, author and body language trainer. She runs Science of People, a human behavior research lab in Portland, Oregon, where she studies charisma, influence and power body language. Basically, she is an expert on lying and says we should all pay close attention to the body language of liars. She suggests the following steps:
Step 1: Determine a person’s baseline, which Van Edwards says is how he or she acts when under normal, non-threatening conditions. She says to take note when talking casually to people about topics they would have no reason to lie about. Once you gain an understanding of their cues, she says you can then focus on when they tend to use those gestures. When you see sudden differences in the baseline, she says it might be a sign they are lying.
Step 2: Look for red flags like lip pursing, question inflections, a lack of contractions, a lack of personal pronouns, sudden distancing, or the presence of microexpressions. All are explained in further detail here, and, thank goodness, as I didn’t know what lip pursing or microexpressions were. Back to Step 1 for a moment. Van Edwards says to remember these signs are only red flags if they differ from a person’s baseline.
Step 3: Find a cluster of three and don’t take a single red flag as a sure sign of lying. Van Edwards claims most liars leak more than one lying cue in a matter of minutes — or even seconds. Yikes.
I once worked for a boss who said he would always tell me the truth because he wasn’t capable of keeping a bunch of lies straight. I was good with that. Van Edwards says it’s better to assume the truth from people, but you should protect yourself from liars by taking note of the baselines of the people you engage with. Any deviations from this behavior can be a warning.
I had a business partner many years ago who, in a quite convincing way, would look me in the eyes and nod while he was lying to me. I would find myself nodding back and accepting his stories, at least until I caught on to his tactics.
How about you? What signs tell you someone is lying? Send me a note and share. Meanwhile, whether you are attempting to call out a liar or cover up some lies of your own, use these three steps as a guide. And don’t purse your lips.
Have a thoughtful Thursday, and thanks for reading.
Shane Goodman
President and Publisher
Big Green Umbrella Media
shane@dmcityview.com
515-953-4822, ext. 305 | 
