I heard a “stages of life” story the other day that hit home. I am guessing many of you can relate.
The story explains how most all of us go through three stages of life that deal with accepting and understanding other people’s views of us. And, as such, we most all pass through each one of these stages and enter the next.
The first stage is one that most all young people go through when being overly concerned with what others think of them. In an effort to fit in, they become obsessed with the shoes they wear, the haircuts they have, the music they listen to, the phones they have, etc. These are unhealthy obsessions, but ones that many young people — and, unfortunately, many grown adults — have. What will others think? Will they like me? Will they make fun of me? Will they think I am cool? Or will they call me a nerd? If we are being honest, most all of us have been there (and some of us still are).
The second stage often happens during middle age when people say they don’t care what other people think any more, and it shows. They now wear only clothes they feel are comfortable, eat only food they enjoy, and listen only to music they prefer. They don’t care if others agree with them or not. The predominant attitude at this stage is, “Love me or hate me; I am who I am.” Sometimes, it is because the pain in doing things others may like is greater than any pleasure that comes from being more readily accepted. Those in this stage now wear shoes that don’t make their feet hurt, eat food that doesn’t give them indigestion, and drive vehicles that make financial sense.
The third stage is one when older adults realize not very many folks were ever interested in what they were doing to begin with — and they certainly don’t give two hoots now. This is the stage of true enlightenment that would be good for us all to realize earlier in life. It is in this stage when people realize how big the world is and how insignificant their individual impacts are. Those in this stage certainly want to be positive role models and help others with their actions, but they realize they are not the center of everyone else’s thoughts — and they never were.
What I find most interesting is how those in the first stage can’t envision being in the other two and even laugh at those who are. Those in stage two are relieved to no longer care about those in stage one but continue to cling to their self-importance. Those in stage three truly get it, but why? Because they are getting closer to their end of life? Because they have let go of their egos? Or because their life experiences have led them to what is truly important? The answer is probably a mix of all three.
Regardless, most all of us will get to that stage… hopefully.
Shane Goodman
President and Publisher
Big Green Umbrella Media
shane@dmcityview.com
515-953-4822, ext. 305 | 
